Invisible Strings
by facetiousfelicity
Summary: Feelings lead to actions. And actions lead to consequences. And the consequences can be all too harsh when you get attached to someone who you promised you wouldn't. (COLLEGE/SLOWBURN JOSHAYA)
1. Broken Hearts Functioning Bodies

_**A/N: Hey y'all! I originally posted this work over at AO3, but I decided to give it a shot over here! I'm slight Joshaya trash and I needed an outlet and thus, this was created. I decided to rate the story M, partly due to mature content, and partly to cover my ass. Anyway, the first couple of chapters are quite short! Apologies in advance, it does get meatier. Enjoy! And feel free to let me know what you think!**_

 _ **H x**_

* * *

 **Chapter 1: Broken Hearts | Functioning Bodies**

The first time he showed up at her door was a rainy February evening.

She was vehemently tracing what she hoped would be her 'saving-grace' assignment of her first college year. The knock at the door startled her, her 4B pencil tumbling from her grip and falling to the floor.

"Jesus," she mumbled.

She didn't have a clue as to who would be hankering around her doorstep at 11 o'clock at night, so she approached the door with a hesitant slowness.

Her roommate and best friend Riley was spending the night with her boyfriend, so Maya was digging deep through her acquaintance list. She opened the door with a reluctant creak.

No, she definitely hadn't thought of this name.

"Josh," she said breathily, pulling the door open wider.

Alas, there stood Joshua Matthews, motorcycle helmet in hand and leather jacket clad back. His hair glistened with raindrops, but his eyes glistened with something else.

She saw the brunette open his mouth to speak, but she hastily cut him off.

"Riley's not here at the moment."

Josh shut his mouth, but opened it again quickly. "I'm not here to see Riley."

Maya's eyes widened as she avoided the gaze of his deep blue ones.

"Uh, um-okay," the blonde stumbled; stepping aside so Josh could enter the apartment. "What's up?" she queried as the man removed his wet jacket, hanging it on rack beside the door.

As he turned around to face her, something in his mannerisms took her aback. She wasn't sure what it was, but she felt her breath hitch slightly. 'Stop being ridiculous Maya, he hasn't even said anything.'

But God, that's what happened when you loved someone, right? Despite the numerous short-term relationships and countless hook-ups she'd experienced over the last few years, Joshua Matthews still had this alluring power over her.

A power that could reduce her to a bumbling mess whenever he even looked at her.

And he had looked at her a lot over the years. From the humble days of 'You grew up gorgeous' to her Senior prom of 'You are gorgeous' and eventually her high school graduation of 'Can I kiss you, gorgeous?' The two had shared some special moments over the years, however one-sided they were. They talked and joked like old friends but that's

all they were ever going to be.

The last time she had spoken to Josh was two weeks ago at NYU. They both attended and it was business as usual, consisting of 'How's college?' and 'What class do you have now?'

Sometimes he would visit for coffee. With Riley of course. And maybe their eyes met for a little too long. And maybe his hands lingered around her waist in that goodbye hug, but that was all wishful thinking, right?

But this, this was out of the blue. She could see in his deep eyes that he was looking for something tonight, and she subconsciously laid her hands on her stomach as if it would stop the nervous churning it was engaged in.

"Maya," he mumbled.

It was sweet but full of desire. The blonde didn't pick up on it until he had paced over to her, cupping her cheeks in his hands. His touch sent a jolt through her body. Her breath hitched once again, and she didn't have time catch it before his lips met her own. Maya's eyes stayed rigidly open in intense shock before they eventually fluttered closed. Before she even had time to apprehend the situation, Josh had pulled away, but his hands lingered on her cheeks.

"I need you," he whispered.

Maya's mouth lay slightly agape at the statement. Her lips tingled in the shadow of his touch but her heart ached. This wasn't a confession. No, this wasn't some declaration of years of pent-up feelings. This was the cry of a broken young man, wanting to be satisfied, and probably avoiding his real issues. This wasn't love, or even like, this was a deal. A contract. One that Maya, although in pain, would be willing to sign. She had long given up hope of being Joshua Matthews' number 1, so she had learned to take what she was given.

And take she did.

Still, no words escaped her mouth. So she allowed her head to nod slightly before she gingerly took one of his hands in her own and pulled him towards her bedroom. She stole shy glances at the boy she loved as she gently tugged him along. He never broke his solemn expression as he shut the door behind them, hoisting her close as soon as it clicked. He stared at her intently as his hands met her waist.

She wanted to scream. She wanted her usual fiery self to rage at him for thinking he had a right to her body. But she wanted one thing more than that. And that thing was Joshua Matthews. And if she couldn't have his heart, this was the second best option. There were zero strings attached, and zero walls to be broken down. Hope was for suckers.

She confirmed her thoughts the next morning when she woke up alone. The bed felt eerily cold in contrast to its occupation of two passionate bodies the previous evening. But as the blonde straggled out of bed, she told herself to forget everything. Forget his heavy breathing, forget the way he breathed her name, forget the way she felt alive at his touch.

Because nothing about it was special. All that was left was his scent in her bed and a small shred of paper on the kitchen bench with 'Thank You' scrawled in Josh's handwriting.


	2. Guilty Hearts Unrelenting Bodies

**_Well yes, I am back! And I will be frequently updating this work. I had awful writers block but I am determined, with the joy of new spoilers, to keep this work up. Feel free to comment your feels._**

 ** _P.S. This is just a filler chapter! It does get more dramatic! I promise._**

 ** _Much love,_**  
 ** _H xx_**

* * *

 **Chapter 2: Guilty Hearts | Unrelenting Bodies**

 _Late March_

The next time they spoke wasn't until late into the next month. The blonde sat with a coffee in hand as she watched the first blooms of Spring breathe into life. Central Park was buzzing with its usual electricity, yet Maya hid behind a pair of dark shades as she considered new ideas for upcoming

assignments.

The buzzing of the park soon gave way to the buzzing of her phone as the minutes clicked onwards. Maya reluctantly reached into her pocket for the object, expecting it to be Riley begging for her to bring some ice-cream home. The name that greeted her instead sent a familiar chill through her body. And she still couldn't decipher whether it was a good or bad thing.

She considered letting it ring for as long as possible in a bid not to seem hasty, but Maya soon berated herself for being so petty and let her finger slide across the answer bar.

"Josh," she breathed. It came out sounding more of a strangled question than she would've liked, but she pushed the thought to the back of her mind as the man's voice filled the other end.

"Hey," Josh breathed, "How are you?"

The question sounded funny to Maya, and left a strange bitterness in the air around her. It was a simple one, but she somehow felt the question didn't fit in with their relationship anymore, so she let a scoff tumble from her mouth.

"Alright, enough of that," she wondered if her sarcasm might drip through the phone. "When do you want me?"

"Christ, Maya," Josh bit back.

"What?" She told herself she was only teasing at this point, but the word felt like like it scathed when exiting her mouth.

There was an exasperated laugh on the other end. Then a few moments of silence before Josh spoke again.

"Can you come round tonight?" his voice was soft, timid even.

Maya chewed the inside of her cheek, a nervous habit she'd developed. She debated whether to poke more fun at the situation, but something told her that it would only make the reality of their relationship sadder.

"And what do I tell your niece?" Maya could swear she felt him wince through the phone.

There was a long silence. Maya felt muscles contract that she didn't even know were tensed when Josh finally spoke again.

"Nothing," he breathed, "You tell Riley nothing."

Maya nodded in response, her stomach churning in a tumult of guilt.

"Maya?"

The blonde realised she had yet to respond verbally to the man.

"Yes. She won't know," she reassured.

"Good."

"I'll see you tonight then," Maya decided to round up their conversation.

"Yes. Tonight."

"Oh, and your roommate?" She knew she had forgotten something.

"Out of town."

"Great," She continued the curtness of the conversation.

Whatever agreement this was, had clearly destroyed their ability of usual friendly banter.

"Great," Josh echoed, "See you tonight gorgeous."

The only reply was the sound of the girl hanging up her phone.

* * *

When Maya finally pulled some casual-enough looking clothes on over some semi-nice lingerie, it was approaching 10 o'clock that evening. She came up with a convincing enough excuse for Riley in telling her that she was on her way to complete some evening sketches. Not soon after she slinked out the apartment door when Riley wasn't looking so the brunette wouldn't ask her why she wasn't taking her sketch pad.

The short walk to the boarding dorms of NYU students felt like an eternity as Maya's stomach began its usual churn. The self-berating soon followed as she began the familiar though pattern of 'Why are you doing this?' and 'You're a strong woman.'

But the phrases were powerless to the magnetic pull that Joshua Matthews' had over her, and when her knuckles wrapped on his door at quarter to 11 that evening, she found her body all too ready to be embraced by him again. And when he opened the creaky door with that wicked half-smirk, she found herself almost lunging at the man in question.

"Woah woah woah," Josh exclaimed, taken aback at Maya's wild embrace.

Her arms lingered around the young man's neck and she kicked the door shut with the heel of her boot.

"What?" she queried, cocking her head to the side. "Not so keen anymore, Matthews?"

Josh smiled sheepishly at her jest, and Maya found her own features lighting up at his expression. It was almost as if she had just momentarily seen through to the dopey, boyish Josh she had fallen in love with. She smacked the last thought away quickly.

"No, very keen." He smirked again. "But you didn't even say hello."

Maya let a small smile creep onto her face with the confusion that followed. How, even when he was striking up a relationship purely based on sex, could Josh still manage to act so impertinently like a Matthews?

"What?" Josh grinned, breaking Maya's thoughts.

"I-I just," Maya stammered. Josh ushered her on with his eyes. "Are we talking now?" she finished simply.

Josh scoffed incredulously as he broke apart from Maya's petite frame.

"Maya," he said is a disbelieving tone as he sat on the side of his bed. "We're still friends. We can talk. I'm not a monster."

The blonde crossed her arms and moved two paces closer to the man, confusion being replaced with relief. "Okay, so we're still friends," she mumbled. She saw Josh nod his head in response. "And sometimes..." she trailed off, talking two more steps toward him.

"Sometimes..." he mirrored Maya's phrase.

"And sometimes..." the blonde repeated, sitting herself down next to Josh as he turned to face her, "...friends do this."

The small blonde moved a hand to rest on Josh's cheek as she pressed her lips to his own. The fire that burnt in her stomach every time he touched her had returned in full force as she pulled herself closer to his body.

When they finally broke for air, Maya had a hand in Josh's hair and another with a fistful of his shirt.

"But we're still friends?" she panted, releasing her grip on the man's shirt.

"Absolutely," Josh assured, the disbelief that she had ever thought otherwise returning to his features.

"Good," she laughed, "Because that phone conversation was so awkward."

"Oh thank God you thought so too," Josh laughed as Maya moved to pull herself into his lap.

She smiled as she reconnected their lips. Because maybe, just maybe, she could pretend this was exactly how she wanted it.


	3. Empty Hearts Rundown Bodies

_**YO! Two updates in one day! Considering the events following Ski Lodge, I guess you could now consider this story as slightly AU. Anyway, here's where the drama starts to kick in!**_

 _ **Much love,**_

 _ **H xx**_

* * *

 **Chapter 3: Empty Hearts | Rundown Bodies**

 _Cont._

When Maya's eyes fluttered open in the early hours of the next morning, she took it as her body's way of telling her it was time to leave. Moving the stray blonde tresses that had fallen over her face in her light slumber, the blonde slowly slung one leg out of the bed as quietly as possible.

Pausing slightly, Maya was in the process of shifting her other leg from under the quilt when she realized that her bed buddy's breathing was not as steady as she had first thought. Slinging her legs back onto the bed, the girl shifted to lay on her back.

"Josh?" she mumbled, staring blankly at the ceiling.

There was silence in reply at first, and Maya wondered if she had merely overjudged the young man's breathing patterns. However, the blonde was proven right seconds later.

"Mmm?" Josh mumbled in replied, shifting in the bed next to her.

"I'm gonna go," Maya answered decisively, turning to face the boy in question. She instantly wished she hadn't.

She inwardly groaned and attempted to swat away the thoughts that were now flying around in her foggy mind. Like how deliciously handsome Joshua Matthews looked in the pale morning light, his disheveled hair falling messily over his forehead. Or how the slow rise and fall of the man's bare chest calmed Maya in a way that almost nothing else could.

However, creeping in amongst the layers of longing and wanting, were thoughts that were more sinister to the young woman, and they ate away at her until she almost didn't want to leave, but for a different reason.

Those blue eyes that Maya often found herself lost in, were perched on the type of bags that you wanted to avoid, and the girl bit back the urge to question why. Josh's tussled hair fell onto an incredulously creased brow that made Maya wonder what was bouncing around that deep-thinking brain of his.

It was evident that the man had not received little to any sleep following he and Maya's 'activities', but she wasn't about to press as to why. She would swallow the questions that begged to be asked and instead let them gnaw away at her internally.

Lost in her thoughts as usual, Maya's wayward mind space was only broken when she realized that Josh was replying to her earlier statement of departure.

"Alright," he half-sighed as he propped himself up on his elbow, now over-looking Maya's petite frame.

"Alright," the blonde replied, pulling herself upwards before in eventuality out of the bed.

She tried her hardest not to look back at Josh in an effort not to cave into sympathy for the clearly emotionally exhausted young man. She'd probably fumbled and say something stupid along the lines of 'Alright Matthews, talk to me.' Maya cringed at the thought as she pulled her creased black t-shirt over hear head with a quiet enough grunt.

The questions from moments earlier had already begun the slow churn of Maya's stomach, but they were to be locked away in Joshua Matthew's cell in her dungeon of sadness. She had known he was broken on the first night he came searching for her, but trying to fix him would be adding further insult to injury.

So away they went, locked in along with the feelings that remained prisoner even after years passed, replaced will a dull numbing feeling that would soon grow. And she didn't look at him on her way out, for she worried that one glimpse might send her scrambling for the key.

* * *

When Maya woke again a few hours after slipping through her apartment door, she could hear the bubbly laughter of her flat mate echoing through the apartment. They had company.

Groaning slightly, the blonde dragged herself sluggishly out of bed and simply ran a hand through her tussled locks. She had recognized the other voice as Lucas now, and despite the tumultuous turns of high school, the girl remained comfortable enough around the Texan to not bother with making herself presentable.

"Howdy-ho!" Maya cried in jest as she made her entrance in the living area known. She took note of her brunette best friend taking homage at a kitchen bench stool, while Lucas sat splayed over the couch.

"Good _afternoon_ , Ms. Hart," Riley clucked, skepticism evident in her raised brow.

Maya rolled her eyes in an exasperated reply, moving toward the couch and roughly adjusting Lucas' limbs in a bid to make room to sit.

After a scrimmage that went on until Riley cleared her throat, Maya eventually moved to the singular armchair in defeat.

"When are you leaving anyway, Huckleberry?" The nickname had stuck.

"Maya!" Riley exclaimed.

"What?" the blonde raised her hands in defense. "Don't you have classes to be getting to? Horses to be…birthing?" Maya's face scrunched as she realized she should've stopped talking after the first question.

She could see Riley shaking her head while Lucas merely let out a small chuckle.

"My flight out is tonight," he answered, sitting a little straighter on the couch. "I just wanted to get one last visit with Riley in."

The blonde emitted a sort of fake-gagging noise, although there was a pang of bitterness in the fact that Riley had a boyfriend that would catch a flight out of Texas in the drop of a (Cowboy's) hat just to see her.

A cup of tea, a shower, and a pair of fresh clothes later, Maya was out of the apartment once again. She decided that since Lucas was bound for Texas and another drudging college semester later that evening, she would let the couple spend their due time together.

* * *

 _Early April, 1 Week Later_

The next time Josh visited the flat, it wasn't for a scandalous rendezvous with a certain fiery blonde; it was because the man felt a certain guilt eating at him about an overdue coffee date.

The catchups between Josh and Riley usually took place on a fortnightly basis, but 3 months has passed since the last, and a perky brunette was beginning to ask questions.

Josh was good at dodging, but his excuses finally ran thin, and the man agreed silently to sacrifice his ability to look his niece in the eye for a small coffee catchup.

"Uncle Josh!" his niece exclaimed when he let himself in quietly.

"Riles!" he shot back as the younger Matthews embraced him.

"It's good to finally see you, Mr. Always-Busy!"

Josh laughed lightly at the girl in front of him. While Riley was still as goofy as ever, he stared in admiration at the graceful young woman that his niece was growing into.

"Have you figured out how to work the machine yet?" Josh asked as he followed Riley towards the kitchen. He ushered to the coffee machine that he had bought Riley and Maya as a housewarming gift over a year ago.

Knowing his niece's clumsy nature, Josh had witnessed Riley time and again try to make a coffee with no result other than coffee grounds in her hair.

Riley smirked and his suspicions were confirmed.

"No," the girl smiled, "Maya's a pro, but I don't think I'll ever get the hang of it."

Josh hoped that Riley didn't notice that his smile faltered when she mentioned her best friend's name. as he began to shoo away the thoughts that came rushing in. He wondered why the blonde hadn't emerged yet. Maybe she wasn't here. Maybe that was best.

"It's not for everyone, niece," he said encouragingly, clawing through his Maya-clad thoughts and rustling Riley's hair.

Riley smiled warmly at Josh as she stepped aside from the coffee machine to allow him to work his magic.

"So how is the roommate situation anyway?" Josh asked inconspicuously as he scanned the fridge for milk.

"I'm not tired of it yet," Riley smiled, seating herself on a stool at the kitchen bench. "There's something about living with your best friend that is so special."

Josh turned momentarily to let his niece know he was smiling at her comment. That's when he noticed that her own smile has disappeared.

"Maya's acting a little strange lately, though," the girl continued.

"Oh?" the young man mumbled, turning his attention back to the coffee machine with a furrowed brow.

"Yeah," Riley said breathily, confusing lacing her tone. "She's been awfully distant. It's almost as if she's seeing someone…" she trailed off.

Riley's last sentence ended as more of a question than a statement, so Josh took it upon himself to find the answer.

"But?" he asked curiously, pushing down the panic that was rising in his stomach. He didn't dare turn around.

"It's like she's seeing someone," the girl thought aloud once more, "But, she's lonelier than ever."

Josh stopped momentarily as he heard Riley's downcast tone. He felt a pang somewhere, he wasn't sure where. But it was _somewhere._

He wasn't sure what to say, what to even _think_. So he broke the silence with the gurgle of the coffee machine until Riley decided to ask more questions. His paranoia hoped that Riley didn't wonder why he had no ever-wise answer for Maya's situation.

' _Because you caused it',_ Josh tried not to outwardly cringe as the thought crept in, setting Riley's coffee down in front of her with a smile.

And so the morning passed, Riley was all smiles and family, with no evidence that the young man in front of her was probably seeing her best friend more than she was.

And Josh was just as he should be. Wearing his smile like an old coat that still fit but didn't have much appeal anymore.

And when Riley finally shut the door behind him he paced a few steps before letting out a sigh of frustration. Frustration that his thoughts were not caffeine and family and happiness, but lonely eyes and blonde hair and fire.

Because Josh's only feeling of not seeing Maya today that was stronger than relief, was disappointment.


End file.
